Today I accessed a memory from Before I was born… Now, for some, maybe this seems totally normal, I don’t know. Except that I am the kind of person who doesn’t remember anything before age 14 or so. I can look at photos and hear stories and remember those stories, but I can’t remember Actually being there. How it felt. I’m not sure why, but I am hoping this will change one day.
It started with an exercise to a earlier time in my life, using my body to access the memory. I found myself in the dark. In a dark field. I was alone and a little scared. I wanted to change this memory into something a little less heavy, maybe add some light into it. And as I transformed the memory, I began to access not a made-up story, but an actual memory. I was in that field, and yet I wasn’t. Where was my body? I suddenly felt that I was starting to float, and the realization came over me that this was an Actual memory I was inside, I was visiting. But not as Kelly, as Soul, as before Kelly lol. (BK) My body had tricked me into accessing this completely real memory that I never remembered before this moment. I felt a well of emotions spring up and wash over me, as well as a download (which I get into below). I cried, I laughed, I cried some more. It was beautiful.
As BK I experienced a total Awakening into several realizations, and they came fast: First, I visited my home and my parents before I came to earth in this physical form. I don’t know what form I had, but I could float and fly and move through walls into the house inside. Second, I knew my parents wanted me. They were hoping for me to come. And Third, I also knew that this life would have some difficulty (as all do, for the most part). Now, my parents were Amazing, full of love, and I grew up with great examples of commitment and how to love. Still, for me, after this exercise and some integration, I can now pinpoint exactly what difficulty I would have from an early age. Something that would get stuck in my body and take years for me to energetically clear. We’ll come back to that in a future blog…
I remember flying around, swooping over the creek, which was very calm and still under a full moon. The stars were out, and it was just so peaceful in that place. I felt ready to join them in this world. I also still felt the bliss and ease of being connected to the cosmos, part of the collective energy of the universe. I went into the house and floated over them as they slept (I guess I’ve always been a creeper). They were younger, their dreams less troubled, their sleep gentle. BK sent them a quiet blessing and moved back outside, noting my older sister sleeping in her room (which would later become Kelly’s/mine).
I am still processing this experience, but I would love to hear from someone who has accessed a preconception memory or had a similar experience. What was it like for you? How did it feel? And if you haven’t had this, what would you want to know if you were able to go back in time to this pre-You moment?