We’ve all been there. You are in a group, participating in a guided tantra meditation, just about to drop in, listening to your body, breathing when they say breathe. Hopefully still breathing even when they don’t… and you suddenly find yourself right next to the loudest participant in the room- perhaps louder than you even though humanly possible.
This person is (beautifully) expressing every microsecond of their pleasure and delight at the energy they are receiving from this experience. Their throat chakra is a million times more open than yours. Maybe you even feel a tinge of jealousy at how Open this person is. You try to send love to that person. Then love to the person/observer who is distracted by the extreme volume (you). Then you just try to focus on Anything at all other than the primal screams and moans coming from the mat nearest you. (I’ll have what She’s having…)
But, in the moment, what if you were able to look at the situation from a different perspective? What if you suspended the idea that you and this other meditator were two separate energy forces? What if there was no judgement on energy at all- loud, quiet, negative, positive, invited, unwanted… What if you could somehow use this energy/force/sound to your benefit? What would that look like?
I will tell you what it looked like for me. As soon as I let go of the need to have quiet to be able to drop into my body, I felt myself opening. I began to consider the idea that energy was just energy. I’m not sure how this came about, but as soon as the notion entered my head, it started a chain reaction. I felt something enter the energy field of the courtyard where we were practicing. It was foreign, unwanted, slightly off. After an initial reaction of tightening, closing my energy off to protect it, I told myself, “energy is energy” and continued opening channels in my body to let this energy in. I could transmute it, pull it through my heart and neutralize it. Maybe even lighten it even more to peace or love. At the exact moment that I had this thought, I felt the energy Rush in like a wave in the ocean, pouring in through my sacral chakra and feet. It was an incredible opening for me, unlike I have ever felt. The most amazing part is, now that this opening is there, I can recreate this feeling of pure bliss and surrender on a daily basis. Without needing a specific quality, or having to pull all of the energy from my crown as I used to, I am able to flood my body (and direct to others) extremely intense levels of healing energy in a concentrated form. Also, I feel that my ability to manifest has finally “come online,” for lack of a better term.
So, thank you fellow meditator next to me for giving me this challenge and opening me to this healing lesson. You have not only given me permission to be as loud as I want during ecstatic meditation, but you have also opened me to an even deeper healing and inner knowing. I am forever grateful.
Reiki & Tantra Lovers of San Diego Group: